We're Still # 1...

...at mass murder! 


We did it, America! We've topped the charts for mass shootings and we’ll do it again.  Killing the world and killing ourselves, it’s the last thing we got going for us. If George Carlin were still around, he might have updated his bit about us and bombing brown people,

which we’re still really good at. In fact, now we have robots ding that shit for us. How high tech is that? You’d think it would be Japan that invented the sky robots of death.

Nope, while they were busy trying to make fuck robots, we’ve been mass producing drones like it’s Coca-Cola. Why? Because we sell that shit to other countries. Drones are the top shelf weapons, but you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to buy something that can blow off an arm or a leg.  


Guns! Yes, it’s not as Apple as a shiny drone equipped with Hellfire missiles, but it does the job. Guns offer an infinite amount of customizability and technical details to geek out over. The Internet is filled with tons of gun enthusiasts using their superior skills as armchair detectives piecing together the gear used using Youtube videos, or using those same skills to prove that this is just another false flag psy-op perpetrated by the Deep State to come after your guns, even though sales alway skyrocket following a mass shooting- that’s America for you. 

America doesn’t seem to care about people dying. I mean they do and they don’t. We’re not monsters on an individual level. We feel pain and empathize with the terror felt by the victims of tragedies. We want to protect our own and ourselves and we rightfully fear the unknown amount of threats amidst the chaos of existence. As people, we are no different than any others, except that we’re way richer and waste way more food, create more waste than any other country, and have a ravenous appetite for factory farming, drugs, and war, but besides all that, we’re good people. We seem to elect legislators that vote against our interests and are beholden to the money that corrupts our political will, and do nothing to hold them accountable, but we’re good people. We just want to raise our children and look for our soul mates while documenting everything online and hoarding all that data in massive server farms the size of football stadiums, no different from any other people on Earth. We are them and they are us and hopefully they don’t catch on and want a fat slice for themselves.