Who's Hangrier Than North Korea?

President Trump told reporters that any threat to the US from North Korea would be met with "fire and fury." People all over the world, government and civilian alike, simultaneously facepalmed while clenching their assholes.

The thing is we ain’t gonna do shit and neither are they. Of course, anything is possible, but I've come to terms with the fact that we're not in the darkest timeline, so there's hope yet. Honestly, there’s nothing for us there. We tried 60 years ago, and it ended up being a wash, though it did set the stage for how I got here. Probably some others, too. Yes, there was a little old war, The Korean War, that people call the Forgotten War, because back then there was no PTSD, just STFU.

North Korea has recently made waves because of nuclear tests, a successful ICBM test of a missile that could hit New York, and Defense Intelligence has confirmed that they have missile-ready weapons-grade nuclear warheads.


Yeah, I'm sure they'll be ready to launch missiles at the US as soon as they finally move from AOL to Gmail. Come on, guys. They’re a little behind, to put it politely. They thought Dennis Rodman was still famous for fuck's sake! You know who else has way better nukes? Everybody else who has nukes.

Nobody in the region wants war, probably not even the Dear Leader, and definitely not all the other countries with nukes. There's no winner.

Trump and North Korea are probably just cranky because they haven’t eaten in ages. I don't blame them. I'm totally the same. Is there anyone hangrier than a North Korean? Well, maybe Donald Trump. Please don't put me in an internment camp! Dude, I grew up in the Valley, I can’t go to Manzanar…