Look at this subway ad for the new ABC show "Selfie." It's terrible. Let's forget about the content for a moment and focus on the color choice. It's a goddamned nightmare- fluorescent yellow-green background, hot pink dress, the title with the text color matching the background except for the hot pink dot over the "i." If you restored a blind person's sight and then showed him this as his first reference for color, he would stab his eyes out and run gleefully back toward the darkness.
Now let's take the title- selfie. Barf. Come on, what the fuck are you thinking? Selfie was named "Oxford's Word Of The Year 2013," so it's hip, it's in the now, all the kids are saying it, right? Right?!?! What are the kids saying? Don't take my youth! I don't want to die!
Anyway, any new buzz word or fad gets quickly tired. In fact, let's take a look at Oxford's 2012 Word Of The Year- GIF. Seriously, that was the word. Imagine a show with the title GIF. There would be endless arguments on how to pronounce it. However, at least it would be more animated than how the actors look in this ad.
Look at them. Look at Karen Gillan (the white one). What's going on with her face? What expression is that? Is she looking at us or is she looking through us? Is there a strange odor bothering her? Is it John Cho? Is John Cho wearing terrible cologne? Why is he standing so close to her? Is he making contact? Is the contact sexual? He doesn't seem turned on. It seems like he's apologizing to me through his eyes for doing this gig or maybe he's concerned that he's being judged. Or maybe that's his fuck face. It's rather unclear.
I forced myself to look up the show's synopsis on Wikipedia-
Ohhh.... ok. So she's supposed to be standoffish. And John Cho's not the love interest at all. It was just my own projection of wishing that there was some normalization of Asian American masculinity in mainstream media, but I'm a huge stoner, so never mind. And it's called "selfie" because it's a critique of our social media obsessed narcissistic culture. Also, it's based on "Pygmalion" so the show runner reads books and stuff, don't worry, there will be some real intellectual heft behind what seems like a vapid sitcom, where the main characters are obsessed with self-image and promotion both personally and professionally, and for Christ's sake doesn't anybody build things with their hands anymore!?!?! Anyway, it's not like that at all according to the synopsis.
Man, I feel embarrassed jumping the gun like that. I guess this ad is actually incredibly subversive... Wait, John Cho's character is named Henry Higgs? Is he related to the guy who identified the Higgs-Boson particle? Wow. This show is like The Wire and Cosmos wrapped into one.
Maybe the ad should have the synopsis written on it so you can see all the depth that you're missing out on. Fuck it, they should throw Neil Degrasse Tyson in there, too. That would up the hotness level spectacularly. Here, let me whip up something rudimentary-
Much better. Now it all makes sense.